Hello to Goodbye

If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.

Lately I feel like that’s all I’ve been doing; saying goodbye.

Saying goodbye signals change, and with change comes uncertainties. It can be really hard to say that single word and then to act upon it. But as I have found out many a time there has always been a hello to great me in return.

As I prepare to say goodbye to my forties I am looking to embrace fifty with a huge bear hug. I am moving forward with some trepidation, I have become melancholy and wish that some things had stayed the same, but also knowing that with every door that closes another one opens. At each stage of life we must say goodbye to something and that is just a given, but there are some things we need to consciously say goodbye to; people, things, habits and ideas.

If I didn’t say goodbye to some relationships I would not have looked back and learned and grown from the mistakes that were made.

If I did not say goodbye to my kids childhoods I would not have seen them grow into the adults they are today. I do still miss holding my babies and watching them sleep but I do not miss those teenage years haha.

If I did not say goodbye to my youth I could not say hello, and embrace, the 20 and 30 year friendships I have made since.

I am currently in the process of saying goodbye to my childbearing years. I just wish my body had done so with a bit more grace and dignity instead of with a constant hot flush. It has been a nightmare and let me tell you this is one goodbye I have no problem saying….or perhaps shouting!

The hardest thing I have had to say goodbye to is the fear I have always carried around my mothers death. It has been 27 years since her passing and 27 years of me thinking that I too would die of cancer. (That could still happen but I have stopped counting the years, and the milestones, and instead am grateful for every day with my loved ones instead of counting them down). Our fate or karma is pre-written and whatever will be will be. I have come to believe that my mum is watching over me (because somebody is). This belief is what has finally helped me say goodbye to my totally irrational fear and to say hello to my new acceptance.

There are still a couple of bad habits I need to say goodbye to but I still get some pleasure from them so I’ll get to them eventually.

It is scary heading off into the unknown. We all love predictable but we need to remember that nothing is life is permanent.

Goodbye
Hello

Suzi xx