I’m back!!

 

As we say goodbye to 2017, I am once again saying hello to my blog in 2018. I also thought I’d give my thoughts a new name. ‘If you knew Suzi’. How original? Right? haha. I have totally forgotten how to navigate the WordPress website and basically feel as if I’m starting from scratch. So, apologies if anything looks amiss. Oh well, the beginning has always been a good place to start….again.

It has been some time since I have written anything, and I have got to say I have really missed it. It doesn’t matter if anyone reads it or what other people think, it’s my way of expressing my thoughts, trying to sort my way through those thoughts and making myself accountable for any action that will turn my thoughts into the reality I want them to become. It won’t be easy to be candid and truthful but I can’t truly exorcise my personal demons (imagined or real) without being totally honest with myself. And unless I actually say out loud, or share publicly, there is always the chance that I may garnish the truth somewhat (you know you only did 40 crunches instead of 50 but if no-one saw you then it doesn’t count lol). Plus writing is also my way to not take life too seriously, to take the piss out of myself and lighten up a little. It’s like I’ve forgotten how I was once a carefree 18 year old instead of a 49 year old worry wart.

I have had a pretty ordinary 2017 and subsequently, have most vehemently, decided that 2018, the year I turn 50, will be a year of changes and new beginnings for me. Let me tell you the struggle with perimenopause is real. There are far bigger problems in the world but this one knocked me for a six for at least half of 2017-this story deserves, and will get, it’s own blog post. I had more bullshit injuries and feeling sorry for myself-also another post. Don’t get me wrong there have also been good things happen this past year; my daughter got engaged and I completed my Level 2 Yoga Teacher training amongst other things. I made a list of 50 things to do before I turn 50 which I have barely started on. The reprisal of my blog is on that list. So yay, go me, for making a start, albeit it 6 months behind original starting schedule.

In 2018 I am going to live the life I want instead of the one I dream about. Even if it scares the living shit out of me, I have finally reached the stage of being more afraid of not doing and always wondering than doing nothing and living my safe and comfortable life. I am going to do more of what makes me happy and that which gives me a sense of calm and purpose. I am going to slow down, I am going to pause and I am going to be more mindful and in the moment. Instead of multi-tasking I am going to mono-task (can’t be guaranteed at this stage but will try really hard. I actually got multi-focal glasses so I could sew and watch tv at same time, totally not mono-tasking). I am going to go with the flow instead of continually fighting against it. And, I am going to listen to what my body, and my soul, tell me they need.

I am going to be grateful for what has happened to me in the past, and what I have learned and become because of it. Here’s to jumping off the big diving board, instead of the little one in 2018. Here’s to new beginnings!

Suzi xx